Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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