and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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