She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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