I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i will never coherently bang her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize