you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
