hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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