I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
