whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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