Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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