This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
