talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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