like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize