I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
