I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Can you bring me the toilet please
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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