the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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