my sisters under your porch take her home
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
