youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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