He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
