i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
