My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
