I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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