I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
