Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
