Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
