Just fell off a train. Bad.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
