it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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