After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
