I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
