there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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