I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
