MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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