He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There r osticjed everywhere
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
