She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
