You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
