y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
