why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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