I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
