And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
