Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I understand Curling. That high.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
