Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"it" just moved
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
