..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
