Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
