You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
