would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize