he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
