If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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