Fuck appropriateness.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
