Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I supernannyed him into submission
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
