I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
