Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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