She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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