I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
