I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
