Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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