After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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