I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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