Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
