"it" just moved
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
