# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
