You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
