Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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