So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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