The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
