Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
