Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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