Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
