He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He did a backflip because drugs
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
