I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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