my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
