We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
