is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
