my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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