she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
