This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
