Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
