apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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