If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
