I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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