I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
