so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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